Love.

I want to wake up next to him every single morning, I want to kiss his face every moment of my existance. I was born to tell him I love him, and live in perfection with him forever. I dreamed, when I was little, of my wedding. I would act it out every single day, when I played with Barbies. I imagined the man I would fall in love with, far in my future, to be tall and able to just devour me in a hug. As I grew older, I began to find interest in boys, outside of my fantasy groom. I started to notice those certain boys when I would go to the mall with friends, and eventually, it went to the point of meeting, and dating them. The first awkward kiss, it was the best moment of my life, every single time. That first kiss with those boys sent a chill down my spine, made me want to rewind time and make it perfect.

Farther down the line, farther went my limits. When kissing and holding hands turned into creeping fingers, and clothes coming off, that's when I found those feelings, those feelings that during that passionate, hot moment, nothing really matters but that one person. That that moment can give you such a false sense of reality, a false sense of emotion, almost.

So many people don't realize that everything comes down to love. I mean, when you imagine your life, what do you think? Because as far as I know, most people think of it as some sort of scenario like this;

They'll live their adolecsence, go through the dating stages, the awkward kisses, the harsh breakups, the rebounds, and everything that goes along with that. Eventually they will meet the person of their dreams, and know at that moment that they want to spend the rest of their life with that person. Eventually they will settle down and get married, and have children, if that's how they want to live. If that marraige goes successfully, they'll live through the fights, and the inevitable things that come along with marraige. If it fails, then comes divorce. And if they fall in love with someone else, it begins again.

So really, life comes down to love. Life comes down to whether or not you find love, whether or not you pursue that love, and no matter who you are, that's how it will go. I don't care if you're ugly, gorgeous, fat, skinny, or anything else. That's how it will go.

I have devoted my life to love, and I know how I want my life to play out. I know the face I want to wake up next to every morning, I know the person I want to grow old with, and have children with, and be in love with. It's a scary thought, though, because who knows if it will play out like that? All I know is that that's all I want in life. He is all I want in life.


To end this, I'll just say that I fucking love you, with all my heart. I don't know if you'll end up reading this, but if you do, I want you to know that I will fight through anything to be with you. Because you are my fucking everything. Every moment I've spent with you is fresh in my mind, and every touch, every kiss, every emotion I've ever felt? That is all I want. I want nothing more than I want you in my life. Nothing more than to live out my childhood, Barbie fantasy with you. I want to wake up next to you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.