do you believe you're missing out,
that everything good is happening somewhere else?


intolerable, unfair and bored.
i'm selfish, i'm a bitch, and i'm hateful sometimes. it's hard to deal with, being me. i have maybe 3 real friends, people who can handle me, and yet, I still only see one of them on a very regular basis. Should I take it as a sign? As a way people are telling me they don't want to be around me? Becuase I do. I take it that way, like there's some defect about me.

There are points in life in which we realize that life is, despite all we may otherwise think, not about us. There are six billion, eight hundred and ninety seven million, five hundred and seventy three thousand, and six hundred people populating this earth. To be honest, only about 0.0000014 percent of those people would even notice, or care if you died. Thats about a hundred people.

How will you leave your mark on the world, when those hundred people find out you've gone? Will people look back on you and remember you fondly, or will they only see on the negative? There's a constant longing among us to strive for social approval, simply to make people like us. It won't always work, but we'll push our goddamned hardest to try and make it happen at some point in life. We'll say things we don't mean just to make someone think just a little bit better of us, pretend to care about something that we honestly just don't give a shit about. Just for that approval. In actuality, does it really matter? It's all to try and up that 0.0000014 percent, that one hundred people, just a little bit.

When you get down to it, there's no point to any of it, the 'moral' of the story is that, you live, you die, and very rarely, someone is remembered for what they've done. It's quite admirable if you pull it off somehow, and if you do, please. Find a way to let me know how you did it, from beyond the grave, or whatever. The truth is, we really don't have any idea as to what's going on in the world around us, outside of our little bubble. I mean, yeah. We've got the news, and we can see pictures, and maybe some of you might be lucky enough to even go elsewhere, and encounter different people, different cultures and religions, and see, firsthand, how they live. But really, you can't understand how someone else lives, unless you take off your shoes, humble up, and step into theirs for a while.

It's impossible to know how someone will react to something, differently than you. You can't feel anyone elses heart speed up from outside of them, you can't help someone catch their breath, or calm their mind completely. It takes them, and them alone, to be able to change themselves how they want to.